friends

a couple of times in the last few weeks i've had people add me to their friends lists, before i'd thought to add them.

i guess i'm still more caught up in the whole "who likes me" / popularity thing than i'd thought, 'cause i was pleased each time in just that sort of way.

wish i were more grown up, felt more complete in myself than i seem to be...

on the other hand, the older i get, the more i wonder if i missed some essential bit of knowlege or arcane rite or something: i don't feel like an adult yet, just a kid with an overlayering of more experiences, more thoughts. (i keep the "rhymes with orage" one-panel cartoon on my fridge, one woman saying to her friend "i keep expecting to be arrested for impersonating an adult.") and the kid has been known to come out (particularly with prolonged exposure to my parents... why can i not keep surly teenager inside?)

anyway. did the grown ups i knew when i was a kid feel the same way? just waking up to realize they had grown-up lives, but inside were still kids?

(somehow the poem "when i am an old woman i shall wear purple" seems relevant here.)

strange

though it's more of a pain to type w/ one hand than to write in my paper journal, i still have found myself making more entries here.

perhaps it's aspect of letting others know what's going on with current medical woes. or just that i have less energy, and less available time, between sleeping more, and regular tasks taking more time, and the chance of getting comments is enough to tilt in lj's favor. or the idea that i should manage to put a post in here every couple of days (social pressure to post?) if possible, and i don't have the same sort of obligation to myself, much though i wish i felt that way. (i used to.)

further adventure in one-handed cooking

tonight i made pizza from scratch! ok, there wasn't the usual profusion of veggies on top, but i did manage to knead the dough, get it rolled out, & slice up some cheese. (not to mention (ok, to mention :) managing a repeat performance with the can opener...)