Things learned from packaging

[magid]

33 ways to use a Texas bandana:

1. To wipe the sweat from your forehead when eating Jalapenos.
   
2. As a flag hanging from your tree house.
   
3. As a bowtie for your dog.
   
4. As a potholder when cooking over an open fire.
   
5. Sew 2 together and stuff with hay to make a pillow.
   
6. Tie one around your pony tail and swing it while you do the Texas Two-Step. [The pony?]
   
7. As a washrag.
   
8. Sew up 2 sides, put a bottle of Texas Barbecue sauce and top with a rope ribbon - Makes a great Texas gift! [But not the best punctuation and capitalization skills.]
   
9. To polish those Texas pearly white teeth.
   
10. To patch the seat of your blue jeans.
    
11. To wipe tears of joy from your eyes when your football team wins. [As if.]
    
12. As a trail marker.
    
13. Roll it up and tie it with a raffia bow, then use it as a napkin at a Texas country party.
    
14. Take two and make suspenders.
    
15. Frame one and put it in your living room to remind yourself how lucky you are to live in Texas. [*snort*]
    
16. As an ear warmer.
    
17. As a lampshade.
    
18. Tie one around your car's antenna so your fellow Texans can easily find you at the tailgate party. [Except that everyone else did this too, so you're no better off than before.]
    
19. To tie down your fishin' gear in your pickup.
    
20. As a scarf.
    
21. As a baby blanket.
    
22. As a placemat at the table.
    
23. To wipe barbecue sauce from your mouth.
    
24. As a bottle holder (preferably a bottle of tequila).
    
25. Send a bunch to Ma so she can make a quilt.
    
26. Show your support and love for the Lone Star State and tie one around the oak tree.
    
27. Wrap ice in it to stay cool.
    
28. As a bathing suit top.
    
29. Make a Texas bib by tying a corner on each side of your overall straps.
    
30. Use as wrapping for a Texas present.
    
31. Use to decorate your cart or animal in the rodeo parade.
    
32. Tuck one in your back pocket for emergency use, makes a great bandage.
    
33. Make a Big Texas cookie, wrap it in the bandana and give it to a friend.

I feel so much more edumacated now.

Comments

[queue.livejournal.com]

Packaging fun from the top of a Stonyfield Farm (http://www.stonyfield.com/) (you can see it on their website) yogurt container: picture of a dairy farmer and a cow. "His heart is in his work. His milk is in our yogurt." Um, ew. At least it wasn't a female farmer, I guess.

[rikchik.livejournal.com]

Is it not a depiction of the Texas Flag? I certainly wouldn't want to use an American Flag in most of these ways...

[magid.livejournal.com]

It is indeed a depiction of the Texas flag. In all its glory, as it were.

[magid.livejournal.com]

I'm wondering where they get all the milk from, if they have only hims producing it.

(And I'm relying on kosher certification to keep his heart out of the dairy products. I knew it would come in useful for something :-)

[hrafn.livejournal.com]

Only as a bathing suit top? I'm sure that, given a large enough bandana or a small enough person, you could also wear one as a bathing suit bottom :)

They also forgot, "Soaked in vinegar, makes a decent breathing protection device when The Man launches tear gas at you."

[magid.livejournal.com]

Plus having it as a bathing suit bottom makes it much more gender neutral. :-)

They forgot a lot of things: tie the corners together and use as a bag for your belongings as you get the heck out of Texas, for instance. Or, to blindfold people with suspicious surnames as you take them away. Or, wave surrender at the Alamo.

[hrafn.livejournal.com]

Heh.

Or, wave surrender at the Alamo.

HA HA HA HA HA!